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Good bye Paul, please stay happy. I love you. Makena Your African Queen." I'd told her about the movie and she'd liked it. We played that game one night and both had incredible sex. For about three days my women put up with my shitty attitude then pulled me aside and said they'd kick my ass if I didn't straighten up. Lana said, "What the hell are you doing? You had two weeks of fun times and a lot of sex with a beautiful woman. Quit feeling sorry for yourself and be happy it happened." I think we'd all be better off in a Matriarchal society. Women get it. It took a couple of months but I changed my attitude. I even asked Makena's friend how she was and to pass on my good wishes. That was probably the smartest thing I've ever done. Other than my wife. Three days later I got a letter. It came to the store and Shirley, the woman who delivers our mail, was grinning from ear to ear when she handed it to me. I wondered what was up then looked at it. When I saw who it was from I was. I know of many women with similar childhood experiences who survived such terrible things as the Catholic Church, Catholic Schools and parents who were too uptight to show affection to each other or their children and they survived with their libido intact. My wife did not fare as well. She tried for decades to get her father to say "I love you." As far as I know he has never said it to any of his five children, though he says it now to his girlfriend in the nursing home.My wife wasn't able to put all that behind her like so many others. She grew up to be as repressed as her father. What's worse is that she had no desire to rectify what I saw as a problem but she did not. We stayed together for many years, decades in fact. I have to be honest, though. I was often tempted to leave her. I think I stayed because I thought she needed me. But it may have been something else, a hope that she would someday change. I really did love her, at least in the beginning. Or maybe it was something.
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